But b efore I forget Leaving Rock Dreams I entered the Twilight Zone of Covid quarantines and bans on travel. I holed up in a motel and then a trailer park next door to the Rockies with only tree planters and bears as neighbors. I continued receiving messages from "Mick Jagger" or his proxies, or people posing as Mick to defraud me of my pension. I also got more sincere-sounding personal texts, inviting me to join his extended family Finally, in frustration, I gave up. I said "You don't understand-- I don't remember you. I can't pretend I do. I don't." After that, all messages stopped and for months there was an eerie silence. I had punctured the membrane that held our whole world in a soft embrace. I had exposed the truth about myself: that I was a zombie victim of childhood brainwashing. Not exactly crazy, just totally missing from the scene of my whole life. I had never understood a single word of a single song directed at me, or my mother. Not
Dear Ann, I've heard a more recent podcast by you talking about your family. Here's the quote: "The connections are all there, if people want to find them, you know. I can just talk & talk, um, you know. And I'm not going to get into the rock star (laughs) aspect of it, but that's part of it. And my father was a musician and he was a music teacher in Montreal and he knew people in the jazz scene. He knew Oscar Peterson, and so on. He knew Maynard Fergusson early, people in the jazz scene. He also had a brother who worked in Chicago in & Detroit with black entertainers. So my family were positioned to be part of the music (um, ah) arm, (laughs) the musical arm. And there were rock stars being programmed at McGill when I was there. And it's just part of our, you know, our youth rebellion. Psychedelic culture was a controlled, in many ways, a controlled military program and kids were flown around. Kids who were chosen, for example, in the UK could be f
It has taken me years to realize I may have had another life that got erased. To say it was stolen from me by the doctors, is maybe an exaggeration or distortion. It was a combination of circumstances and choices that were made without anyone consulting me, which culminated in some kind of massive memory loss, similar to what was done to my father. Probably dad and I bonded over our shared amnesia. He would have known at least a part of the truth -- which had to be kept hidden from me for my own protection. So her and I almost never talked even during long hours in the country or in the car driving to school and back. Probably it just boils down to the fact that I was too young to do what was set out for me by my elders. I was too shy and insecure and also too stubborn to play my part. Before my 14th birthday I at least had a chance at connecting with the boy of my dreams -- but by the time he showed up he was unrecognizable to the little mermaid who had known him as a young boy. T
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